Sometimes we miss the bus. Care and charm prevent many a diplomacy upset. But, no falling-out falls out without a buildup of grievances. Once those grievances pile up, it's hard to make up for what we've lost. The bus leaves and we wake up too late to catch it.

A missed bus isn't the end of the world. Life carries on and so must we, having learned valuable lessons. We have to bear the fallout of our piled-up negligence and keep from becoming too toxic to pay bills. Then we learn the biggest lesson in the pile: Attitude is altitude.

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Keeping a secret could mean that you can't vindicate yourself. There might be a very good reason why you do what you do, but to tell that reason might hurt someone else. So, doing the right thing might require the appearance of doing the wrong thing.

The lesson to learn from this isn't about self-sacrifice; it's about not being quick to judge. Taking the hit for others is about understanding oneself. Not judging others for taking a hit is about understanding others. So, to be willing to take the hit for others first requires not judging others—and that's harder.

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We can't win with everyone. And, maybe we shouldn't try anyway.

People make their own choices, just how you make yours. Everyone has a dream of changing the world and convincing stupid people to stop being stupid. Almost no one has a dream of changing themselves and convincing themselves to stop being stupid. You could be part of the solution, just be a little more selfish with your dreams for change and make those dreams a lot more about yourself.

People have to fail sometimes, other times they need our help. We'll know what to do if we change first.

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Missiles travel. You shoot them in one place and they land in another. For the simple-minded, this can be a difficult concept to grasp. It takes an attention span, the mental framework called "object permanence", and dare I say a conscience. Those who succumb to the seduction of things being out of mind if they are out of sight won't grasp the concept of missiles because they can't believe in the existence of what they can't see right in front of them.

The application is broad—safety, danger, diplomacy, mutual assured destruction, distance, aim. Just be aware that missiles fly.

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Calm, steady continuation helps keep our focus on the future. They say, "If you're going through Hell, keep going!" The next steady step will steadily move you on toward steadfast stability. It doesn't feels like it in the moment, but it will.

The attacks and flack and wind can only move things that aren't solid. They test and bend things. But, wind passes by definition. It comes and it will go. As for the attacks, the best revenge is to not quit.

Every attack depends on its own victory. If it fails, then its unreturned expense becomes a self-inflicted fine.

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When you see a problem or a challenge or an end to reach, never take it at face value. Everything has prerequisites, even problems. By looking at the prerequisite, you'll make your goals easier to reach and your challenges easier to overcome.

Even problems have to do their homework. Even problems need to eat and sleep. Maybe your problem is that you're trying to reach a goal without letting your goal sleep, eat, and do its homework. Cockroaches need crumbs on the floor—eliminate the crumbs and the roaches will move out. Stand for what's right and others will follow.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjnQTdAfKu8

Boundaries change, whether in style or location. We need them as much as we need them to be suitable. You separate work from play—not always an easy thing, and sometimes you need to blur that line for the sake of your work. Some separations can be bad, especially if a border becomes a boundary among kin.

Your life borders against others. Crossing over a border can turn a boundary into a highway,opening new friendship, as long as that border remains respected. Friendship that crosses the border is only as honored as much as the friends honor their border.

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Look past your own injuries to the greater battle. A soldier may lose a leg, but if he quits, his loss could be for nothing. We can't always move, we can't always help. Sometimes the best way to help is to not ask for it.

Look at your own situation, then take a good, long look past it. One of the most important decisions is whether to ask for help. Sometimes it's better to ask sooner rather than to make more work for friends later. But, if you can suck it up long enough to help someone else, do so.

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Sometimes the only way to get needed attention is to make drastic cuts against your own stuff. Steve Jobs sold the museum to help propel Apple into the future. Cortes burned his ships. It wasn't easy for them and it won't be easy for you.

You have your own painful self-cuts you must make, sooner or later. We need don't cut back on our stuff every day, that's not necessary. But, when the time comes, we always find an excuse—or five—to say, "Not today."

No, we all must make painful cuts at times. Once we do, we grow.

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Battles never appear as are. Outcomes flow and weave in and out. Currents of war and conflict are so complex—and organic—that no one can know which way events will turn next. All we can do is know the behavior of a river based on history. But, which way what piece of debris will flow this time around—we can't know.

The unpredictable nature of war should serve as both a caution and an encouragement.  Take no small victory to rationalize overconfidence—though aggressors do anyway. Free people defending home and country find hope knowing storms always precede calm.

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Deliberation is an important start, never a destination. Discussion must come before a conclusion, but it cannot be the conclusion in and of itself. We need to negotiate so we can move on to what is next. Once deciding factors have been explained and understood, it's time to move on to whatever that next thing is.

Moving on to the next phase doesn't involve what we often suppose. Yes, it's usually unpopular. Yes, it's usually political and partisan. But above all, moving into the phase of decision is about resources. Diligence, work, wits, strength, practice, study, smarts—these enforce decisions.

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Small, routine, good deeds of ordinary folk going about their daily lives—that is the great power that stays back evil and injustice. Like drops in a rain storm washing away the drought, no single part seems too significant in itself, but things so small can't possibly operate alone. No rain drop is ever alone because rain only falls in large numbers from a looming cloud.

Evil and injustice only have chance to spread when people believe that they don't matter merely because they are small. Small things always come in numbers, so they always matter for better or worse.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMzNuuj1_BQ

A society can only be as lawful as its laws are suitable. Laws can only be as suitable as the lawmakers are both lawful and in touch with the society they govern.

Law is like a custom suit. Every measurement must be taken, cut and sewn, then it must be tried and tested. Governance is an ongoing work and it can't succeed without constant learning and asking.

Even with information and suitability, governance also requires awareness of "source" or "spark". Society is not guaranteed to grow and progress indefinitely. We need charge, recharge, and lift to empower what is governed.

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We all need friends. We don't need "yesmen" or people to tell us that we're always doing great even when we're not. While we do need cheerleaders about half the time, once in a while we need help draining the swamps that seem too big to drain.

Rain is good, but too much overflows and garbage clogs the drain. When life makes a swamp in your neighbor's back yard, be a good neighbor, yank the plug, and save the neighborhood from the stench. If the swamp swells in your own back yard, be thankful for good neighbors when they knock.

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